Never Let Go
One night I dreamt I was in the city. I was sitting on the ledge of some old building with my girlfriend Ann. We were about 20 stories up, just sitting and talking and admiring the stars. It was so cold up there and I remember taking off my jacket and wrapping it around Ann’s shivering shoulders to keep her warm. I was absolutely freezing, but it didn’t matter. We held hands and I remember thinking that the warmth of her skin was all that I needed. I could’ve contracted pneumonia that night and it wouldn’t have mattered. In fact, I could’ve been dying of Malaria in a dirty hospital bed halfway around the world and it still wouldn’t have mattered. As long as our hands were locked together, I was invincible; impervious to danger. And so was she. At least I thought she was.
You know that thing you feel when something bad is about to happen? Well, it’s exactly what I felt. And then the sky went dark, as if half of the earth’s crust was suddenly uprooted and thrown into the sky. The only light left seemed to be shining on Ann. I looked over to her and she squeezed my hand. Without saying a word, we both knew it was time to go. I stood up on the ledge of the building and helped her up with me, but somehow she lost her balance. I don’t know how it happened but before I could do anything to help her she was over the edge. Our hands never left each other and I still had a hold of her. I watched as she dangled over the edge, 20 stories above the passing cars and yellow street lamps below. Nobody stopped to look or listen to her screams. But I heard it all and I couldn’t stop from crying for her.
A strong updraft blew up the side of the building and caught me in the face. The tears blew back and stung my eyes. I stumbled and fell; my chest slammed hard into the brick ledge. I knew it was supposed to hurt but I didn’t feel it. Still, I managed to keep Ann in my grasp. She was screaming my name over and over. “Charlie! Charlie!” she called.
I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t focus on saving her. I was blind!
My body slumped over the edge. Ann still held on. I reached down with my other arm, trying with all of my strength to pull her up, but I couldn’t do it. I was starting to slide over the ledge. It felt like the brickwork was about to give way and we’d both fall to our deaths. I said to her, “It’ll be alright, Ann. You’re gonna be okay. Don’t let go!”
I was lying. I was too far over the ledge to pull both of us up and over it again. We hung in the air for a very long time and still nobody noticed us. Nobody was going to help us. Carol looked into my eyes and she knew. She knew I couldn’t save her. But it was strange. She seemed almost happy about it. Suddenly she was calm. She was done screaming and she just looked into my eyes as I looked into hers. And she told me… She told me, “Charlie, it’s okay. It’s not that far. I’ll be alright.”
She wasn’t making any sense to me. I could feel her hand loosening and she started to slide through my fingers. There wasn’t much left to hold on to. “No, Ann! I can still save you!”
Without word, her fingers slid through mine and she fell. I watched as she fell. 20 stories. She didn’t scream; not once did she scream.
Before she hit the ground, I woke up. I could feel tears drying on my cheeks. Quickly I noticed my hands were clenched firmly to something. I turned to my side and I saw Ann, looking upon me as if she had been watching me for hours. She squeezed my hand and smiled.
That one dream has filled my mind every day since it happened. And if I can take one thing from it, it would be that I know one thing for certain: I’m never letting go.