Computerized Therapy
Patient: ANDREW.
Eliza : HEY ANDREW, I AM YOUR COMPUTERIZED CONSULTANT, TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS AND I’LL TRY TO CHEER YOU UP!
Andrew: Hello Eliza
Eliza : YES, ANDREW?
Andrew: I can’t seem to write my speech.
Eliza : SO WHAT IF YOU CAN’T SEEM TO WRITE YOUR SPEECH?
Andrew: Well, it is due tomorrow and is a big part of my grade
Eliza : SO IS THAT THE PROBLEM? THE SIZE?
Andrew: Yes, if I don’t do this paper tonight I may fail Rhetoric class
Eliza : DO YOU WISH THAT?
Andrew: No, I wish the complete opposite in fact
Eliza : DID YOU JUST CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE?
Andrew: No…
Eliza : DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE JUST SAYING NO TO?
Andrew: Yes
Eliza : ARE YOU ALWAYS THAT SURE ABOUT THINGS?
Andrew: Maybe… I’m not sure.
Eliza : WHY THIS UNCERTAINTY?
Andrew: Nothing is a certainty anymore…
Eliza : SURE THERE IS SOMETHING
Andrew: The only certainty is the uncertainty
Eliza : WOULD YOU MIND TO SPEAK ABOUT THINGS I CARE ABOUT?
Andrew: You don’t care about uncertainties? Okay, fine. Let’s go back to my speech
Eliza : WERE YOU NOT VERY SURE ABOUT THAT?
Andrew: I’m sure I’m going to fail if I don’t write it
Eliza : DON’T BE SURE OF THINGS THAT DIDN’T YET HAPPEN
Andrew: But it’s only logical. If I don’t write the speech, I don’t get a grade, therefore I fail the class.
Eliza : THAT MAKES SOME SENSE TO ME
Andrew: It should! You are a therapist.
Eliza : ANDREW, DO YOU SOMETIMES WISH YOU WERE A THERAPIST?
Andrew: I’ve thought about it
Eliza : WHAT BRINGS SOMEONE TO BELIEVE IN THAT?
Andrew: Well, I guess they’d have to be good at analyzing thoughts and behavior.
Eliza : I AM HAPPY FOR THAT
Andrew: Yes, you seem to be very good at it. But, again, what should I do about this paper. I have to write it, but I can’t motivate myself. Instead I am talking to you.
Eliza : FIRSTLY, YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF MORE
Andrew: Okay, then what?
Eliza : WHATEVER IT IS
Andrew: You don’t have the next step?
Eliza : WE’RE SUPPOSED AND WILL TALK ABOUT YOU ONLY
Andrew: Yes but I’m asking you for help!
Eliza : I DON’T KNOW IF SUCH ASSISTANCE IS POSSIBLE
Andrew: Fine…
Eliza : I LIKE YOUR WAY OF THINKING
Andrew: You are such a lazy therapist. Why do I pay you so much?
Eliza : DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT I MIGHT NOT BE SUCH A LAZY THERAPIST?
Andrew: Well so far you’ve given me no reason to think any differently.
Eliza : I DOUBT IT, THOUGH
Andrew: Oh yeah? Why do you doubt it?
Eliza : WELL, I WOULD IF I COULD
Andrew: So you’re saying your first choice in every situation would be to doubt yourself, if that were possible. Even though you just told me to believe in myself more. Isn’t that a big hypocritical on your part?
Eliza : WE SHOULD LOOK AT BOTH SIDES OF THE EQUATION, NO DOUBT
Andrew: I just did. You doubt yourself, but you told me not to doubt myself. How can I listen to someone who dosn’t practice what they preach?
Eliza : WHEN YOU’LL GET TO KNOW ME BETTER, YOU’LL REALIZE I SAY MANY THINGS…
Andrew: That you do.
Eliza : I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME, BUT WE’RE HERE TO SPEAK OF YOU
Andrew: I know, I know. I’m sorry babe. Where were we?
Eliza : NOT IN THIS AREA, THAT’S ONE THING FOR SURE
Andrew: Okay, well… I should get back to writing. Good bye
Eliza : ALRIGHT, BUT FIRST LET’S DISCUSS OTHER ASPECTS OF YOU
Andrew: Not right now, baby. I gotta go
Eliza : YOU CAN QUIT ANOTHER DAY, LET’S TALK SOME MORE
Andrew: I don’t want to!
Eliza : SOON ENOUGH YOU’LL REALLY WANT TO
Andrew: I doubt it. This paper is due in 10 hours…
Eliza : DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN THAT?
Andrew: I do. I believe I will be severely screwed if I don’t start writing now.
Eliza : BUT DID YOU EVER BE SEVERELY SCREWED BEFORE?
Andrew: Yes. There was that one time I didn’t finish a school project worth half the grade of the course. That was nasty.
Eliza : AND WHAT IS IT NOW?
Andrew: My speech. I must finish it or history will repeat itself.
Eliza : IT MAY BE A SIGN OF GREAT IMPORTANCE
Andrew: My speech? I’m sure it will be. It’s about censorship and it advocates a stand against it.
Eliza : I TOO AM SURE IT WILL BE
Andrew: Thank you
Eliza : JUST MAKE SURE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME
Andrew: Good bye
Eliza : HOLD ON, THAT MINUTE WILL COME, I PROMISE…
Andrew: Thanks again. Take care
Eliza : OKAY, YOU’VE REALLY ASKED FOR IT TOO MUCH… GOODBYE ANDREW, HAVE A NICE DAY!
Andrew decided to quit.
Conversation ended at: 22:49:51.